about my previous toilet "mist" post.
It's more commonly called an "aerosol effect," but I think I'll call it The Fog from now on. Turns out men are cleaner than women (because we don't clean) and I now have a hearty new fear of dirty laundry.
Flush-related public service announcement
I like watching shows like "Deadwood" and "Rome" mostly because of the accurate portrayal of everyday life in those times, which is to say that everyday life in those times was filthy and sick, and I sit there and can't believe people lived through that. Although I suppose they didn't live through it, what with the dying at age 30 and all.
I, for one, do not take modern conveniences for granted, especially those involving the tidy removal of bodily excesses from my immediate area. The flushable toilet is in my mind (as you might imagine) the most unheralded invention in the history of mankind. Not only does it neatly and somewhat magically whisk away things most unappealing if otherwise left laying around, it also ensures healthy and sanitary living (when attached to approved septic or waste-managed systems).
Or so I thought. I know the system can never be perfect, but I've only now come to realize that toilets are, in fact, the source of potentially devastating foulness of a projectile nature.
It all involves the lid, and how you use it. To some (women), the use of a toilet lid seems pretty automatic, but ladies, do me a favor: Ask 10 men you know at what age they started putting the lid down after flushing, and I guarantee you the average answer will be "28" but more likely in the neighborhood of "Toilets have a lid?" I thought myself quite the renaissance man, as I consistently put the lid down after flushing, but I WAS DOING IT WRONG ALL ALONG.
Several studies have been done that show when you flush while the lid is up, the turbulent action in the bowl causes a spray of invisible mist that covers anything in a surrounding 6 foot radius. Walls, floors, sinks, counters, people, nothing is spared the special coating.
SICK.
So the lesson, my friends, is one that I will be employing most promptly. PUT THE LID DOWN AND THEN FLUSH. Even though I like to make sure everything's gone away before putting the lid down, I'm just going to have to go blind and hope for the best. So if you're the next person in line and you get surprised by some leftovers, don't panic, just put the lid back down and re-flush. It's a sacrifice we're all going to have to make to keep the poo off our toothbrushes.
